Tuesday, March 27, 2012


A little advice. Unless you're a good friend, do not ask the parents (particularly the mom) of a two- or three-year-old why they haven't popped another kid out yet. It's rude. And believe me, you don't want to hear about the miscarriage, the 15+ months of trying to conceive, the fertility treatments, etc.

I actually kind of grapple with this because I'm a fairly open person and am happy to talk about my trials and tribulations because it is often returned with tales of others' trials and tribulations and it gives me solace that other people have experienced similar woes. But when the comment is meant to be critical - like there's something wrong with me for not yet having another kid - I get pissed. Last week, I bumped into a friend of my parents, and he told me over and over and over that it's time for me to get working on another and it's a shame I haven't yet and that he's sure my parents would love anther grandkid and that his daughter had a second child who is already one. I was so annoyed but did not say anything. Then yesterday, a contractor who came to bid on work we're having done said, and I quote: "What kind of Jew are you with only one kid. Get working!" Seriously? No, really, seriously? (That comment is wrong for so many reasons.) I looked him straight in the eye and told him it is rude to say that to a woman because you don't know if she's been trying but hasn't been able to get pregnant. He felt bad. Then I felt bad for making him feel bad. But he made me feel bad first.

I know that I will eventually have another baby, and I very much look forward to that day. But for now, I am thoroughly and with my whole heart relishing every second with my son, and am grateful for having more time with him that I wouldn't otherwise have if another child was in the picture. I mean, look at this face (and the hair that cannot be tamed):

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